As an NQT I was aware there were children in the class. With planning in hand, I worried about getting evidence in workbooks to show I was being effective followed by late nights marking.
Gradually I started to listen and watch how children responded. I found their views and opinions interesting and a great insight to their understanding so I adapted planning as learning seemed more effective through children’s own examples and experiences.
I began to understand individual and specific needs, feedback became focussed and the more I developed as a teacher the more I found I could do to facilitate learning. I became interested in different approaches to teaching and learning such as those discussed by Ken Robinson and I tried to cater for what were clearly different needs in the class. Eventually however, I reached a ceiling, there was no more time in the day despite working evenings and much of the weekend. Add meetings, clubs, planning and resources etc and something had to give as there was little time left just for ‘me’, selfish I know. So I gave up the perfection quest and settled for just trying to do my best in each lesson on each day.
My teacher development was a fantastic journey but I discovered there is always something more that could be done so it became a matter of priorities except mine often differed from management. I therefore settled comfortably with my imperfections. I accepted there will always be another teacher who does some things better, a more appropriate resource I should have prepared, a child who needed my time but for some reason I couldn’t make myself available or a parent I still needed to catch up with and the list goes on… I am far from perfect
Striving to close the gap between what you perceive as your imperfect present to some ‘perfect’ teacher vision in the future leads to unrealistic expectations. The gap will narrow but there will always be a gap. To strive each day to do a little better than the day before and hoping tomorrow will be a little better than today is a good mantra, be honest with yourself, accept who you are and like everyone else be comfortable not chasing the illusion of being perfect.